


Heart to Heart

by ChelseaStark_x



Series: Tumblr Prompts [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Apocalypse world, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Happy Ending, If You Squint - Freeform, Lucifer is a Little Shit, Minor Rowena MacLeod/Sam Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, basically season 13 ep 21 but with the reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 18:02:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19835626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChelseaStark_x/pseuds/ChelseaStark_x
Summary: Requested by - @carliewinchester on tumblrDean Winchester x reader with prompts 19 - “The truth is being with you scares me. But not being with you…terrifies me” and 23 - “Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.”Dean, Sam, Gabriel and Castiel go into the Apocalypse world. The reader has been benched from this journey but finds a way to sneak in, seemingly joining forces with the enemy on her way.





	Heart to Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1 of this series has 100 prompts for you to pick from or you can tell me your ideas. I write for a wide range of fandoms so be sure to check that out and leave your requests!
> 
> https://crowley-winchester-x.tumblr.com/

Y/N had been hunting with the Winchester’s for a long time, you’d met them whilst you were hunting a nest of vampires and ended up making quite a team. Once they had found out what the vampires had done to your family they opened their home up to you, you had happily accepted the invitation and since then had grown close to them. Whilst you liked both men you had been drawn to Dean more, you went to him when you were scared, when you couldn’t sleep due to nightmares from your past. You shared the bed with him more times than not when the three, sometimes four depending on if Castiel joined, travelled. You knew you were falling for the taller man but also knew nothing could come from it, this life wasn’t for people who thought they could have a slice of happiness, getting to close to someone got you and them hurt but still you couldn’t help soaking up all the hugs, the touches, the lingering glances between Dean and you.

Even with the apocalypse world situation nothing had changed between you and Dean, you were still friends, the best of friends, and nothing more. You joked and flirted, everyone could tell there was something there but you knew Dean was just joking, no matter how much Sam tried to convince you otherwise.

The bunker was currently fuller than usual, Rowena here helping with opening the gate to the apocalypse world, Gabriel recovering and helping were he could, Castiel, Sam and Dean were getting ready to go to the other side. You, however, sat staring at Dean with an angry glare. He had banned you from going, said it was too dangerous which was true but what wasn’t dangerous in this life? You knew when you joined the boys your life would be dangerous, that every action would have a consequence but you wanted to help! You were going to the apocalypse world with or without Dean’s permission, just let him try and stop you.

“Listen, I’m not apologising for protecting you-“ Dean began but was quickly cut off by you protesting, “I don’t need protection Dean Winchester, I’m a big girl and I’m perfectly capable of protecting myself!” Kneeling in front of you Dean sighed before continuing, “I know you can but you haven’t dealt with a threat this big before, Hell, we don’t even know what we’re walking into. You- I won’t let you go in there. I need you too damn much.” You looked at him for a long moment. As much as you wanted the words to mean something, and in any other situation they would, you couldn’t listen to them at the moment. You needed to go with them, help them!

“I’m going with you whether you like it or not.” Your voice was firm as you stood from your chair, pushing past him. He barely stayed balanced in his squatting position before he stood up and went to follow you, only to be stopped by Sam who put his hand on Dean's shoulder and shook his head slightly.

“She’s right, the clock may run out on us.” You heard as you tuned back into the conversation. You knew Castiel and Rowena were right, you hadn’t been to the other world but from what you’d been told it was big and the chance of finding Mary and Jack was, well it was slim.

Looking up you saw Gabriel enter the room, holding a vial of his grace. As Rowena held it up you frowned a confused expression making its way onto yours, and everyone else’s face. With an uneasy look towards Castiel, Rowena used the small amount of grace to finish the spell. As the angels grabbed their blades and Sam and Dean grabbed their bags, you leant against the door frame, your own bag hidden in your room a few doors down.

“I need you to trust me.” Dean said as he came over to you, a hand reaching up to cup your cheek, it took all your strength not to lean into his touch. “I’m not benching you to be an ass, I’m trying to protect you. Hell, I don’t even want Sammy in there. I can’t have both of you in there, I’m sorry Y/N. I really am.”

“You don’t need to be worried about protecting me in there Dean! Sure I haven’t fought archangels like you have but I’ve fought enough creatures to the point where you should know I can handle my own shit. Stop looking at me like a child who told you they want to be an astronaut, I can actually do this.” You were angry, you had been with the Winchester’s for a few years now. Had been through thick and thin with them and still when the biggest fight was here Dean didn’t trust you. You turned and walked out of the room, the older Winchester following you right out.

“I trust you, Y/N, you know I do!” Dean said causing you to scoff, he paused to glare at you before continuing. “Is it that hard to believe I care about you too much?”

“Whatever. Just go, I don’t even care. I’ll just follow your orders and stay here!” He went to respond, looking just as frustrated as you felt, but was cut off by Sam shouting him into the room.

“Y/N, before I go, in case something happens you have to know,” here he paused for a few long moments, “I - I do trust you.” It could have been the many emotions you were feeling but you swore you saw regret in his eyes, like he was telling the truth but not the whole truth. You shrugged it off, rolling your eyes at his retreating figure before following him into the room again.

You all watched as Rowena completed the spell, the portal appeared before collapsing, all you heads titling with it. The group in front of you began arguing about Gabriel’s grace before Castiel started explaining how they needed archangel grace.

“We need Lucifer.” His voice was firm, there was no arguing with the statement, though that didn’t stop them. Your eyes darted towards Sam and then Rowena, feeling sympathy for them both but knowing Castiel was right. Gabriel wasn’t healed and the gate needed to be opened as soon as possible.

-

-

-

Sam, Dean and Castiel excused themselves to go and discuss things in the kitchen. You left for your bedroom not completely understanding what needed discussing, as much as Sam had reason to despise Lucifer he was the only way that the door to the apocalypse world could be opened.

For the amount of time you had spent with Sam and Dean, you hadn’t had the chance to meet Lucifer. They kept you as far away from him as humanly possible. They had told you what he had done to Cas, to Sam but you weren’t scared of him, well not as much as you probably should’ve been. It sort of made sense, Lucifer wanting to destroy the world his Father made after being put in the cage. That didn’t mean you agreed with what Lucifer had done, just that you could sort of see his side.

The apocalypse world was going to be dangerous, you knew that much. Dean was worried about going in there and that should have been enough to scare you but you couldn’t just sit around and do nothing. You’d lost one family and you refused to sit around and do nothing while this family was in danger.

There was a knock on your door and you looked up to see Castiel leaning against the frame. “Dean wanted to come but I didn’t think you’d want to see him right now.” He said causing you to smile. “Rowena and Gabriel have gone to collect Lucifer. I’d expect them back shortly.”

You nodded at Castiel and told him you’d be out soon before closing the door and double checking your bag. You had guns, extra bullets, a knife, flashlights and your angel blade which you stole from Dean a year or so ago. You planned to go through to the apocalypse world after Sam, Dean, Gabriel and Cas had had time to move. Rowena wouldn’t let you go without a fight but if Lucifer was there then maybe she wouldn’t be as focused on you.

-

-

-

By the time you walked back into the library, Rowena was grinding the ingredients for the spell again and a man you’d never met before was knelt on the ground. Lucifer, that was Lucifer. He had just started the regain consciousness when you quietly walked in.

“Oh hey Sam,” he smirked before taking in the rest of the room, “oh look at that, all the people I love to torture in the same room.” Then his eyes locked with yours and you raised an eyebrow. “Expect you, whose she? New pet?” He was cut off as Rowena placed the bowl of ingredients under him and he put the pieces together. Your eyes widened as Castiel stepped forward and slit the archangels throat, grace pooling from the wound.

Sam told Lucifer of his plan before Rowena performed the spell again, this time the door was bright and wide and Sam’s plan of draining Lucifer seemed like it would actually work, seemed like something would finally go right for them.

“...Then, when we get back, then we’ll kill you.” Sam said, pointing his figure at the archangel. The unbothered, almost bored, “cool” Lucifer let out made you snort quietly; never piss off a Winchester.

Whilst Sam checked in with Rowena, Dean made his way over to you. “Listen I know you’re still made at me but I need you to know this before I go,” He took a deep breath, moments passed before he looked at you again, ““Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you. If I don’t make it back, I just- I need you to know that, OK?”

Before you could reply Gabriel was asking the group if they were ready and before you knew it each of them passed through the doorway, Dean throwing you one last look over his shoulder. Well now you absolutely needed to go to the apocalypse world, not only to help Jack and Mary but if something happened to Dean, not that you didn’t doubt he’d find a way back from the dead, he wouldn’t know you felt the same about him.

Sometimes you really hated the hunter’s life.

-

-

-

You sat watching Lucifer stare down at the bowl filled with his grace. He looked slightly defeated before turning his attention to Rowena, beginning to pick at her. You raised your eyebrow as you listened to him, “sort of old-fashioned rightness to it, if you think about it. The men going off to face the trials and glories of war. Woman staying home in the kitchen, where she belongs.” You felt your own fists clench and you had to close your eyes to resist the urge to get up and punch the archangel. As you watched him smile innocently at Rowena you had to give credit to her, she knew how to handle the Devil.

Once he saw he wasn’t getting a reaction out of Rowena he turned to you, smirking when he saw he was already getting a reaction out of you. Rowena placed a hand on your knee, just out of sight of Lucifer, and you took a deep breath knowing you couldn’t let him get to you.

“What about you then? Never tortured you before. Dean Winchester seems fond of you, is that how your relationship works? Dean goes off doing the real work, the man's work and you, what, you stay here like a good little girlfriend? Ready to stitch up his wounds and fetch him drinks all day? Is that it?” You felt Rowena’s grip on you tighten as your jaw clenched painfully. “Oh no that’s not it. You wanted to go, didn’t you? But Dean doesn’t think you’re strong enough, does he?” You focused your attention back on the book in front of you, trying your best not to show Lucifer he was getting to you. He kept prodding but you wouldn’t budge, Rowena’s grip on you helping hold you down.

Again, the lack of reaction caused Lucifer to pause before he started singing obnoxiously. You and Rowena shared a look of exasperation, both ready to be done with the archangel and if you didn’t need him he’d be dead already. You watched Rowena place her hand on her head and hoped the group in the apocalypse world would be quick for her sake, you couldn’t wait until you went across.

-

-

-

“I told her I loved her, man. I finally confessed and we get dragged into this world before she could say anything, Hell even a rejection would be better than nothing.” Dean sighed, Sam looked at him in sympathy knowing just how long his older brother had been trying to work up the courage to tell Y/N how he felt. It was moments like this were he wished Dean and him could just live a normal life, let Dean be happy for once.

“Let’s just make it through this and then you’ll see her. Trust me, she’s just as crazy about you as you are about her.” Dean didn’t look convinced but shrugged his shoulders; trying to focus on this world and not on his world.

The subject changed onto Dean’s worry about Sam, how he seemed different in this world but that quickly got interrupted by a woman’s scream. Gabriel tried to dissuade them from intervening but saving people was their job.

-

-

-

Lucifer’s singing carried on before he changed the topic on his last encounter with Rowena. You could see he was getting to her and took this as your chance. Quietly you slipped out of the room, a strong sense of guilt and sympathy for the witch but you knew you had to leave. You grabbed your bag and headed back to the doorway to the apocalypses, pausing before entering the room as you heard Rowena snap. You heard her tell Lucifer that Jack was on the other side, a bad feeling settling in your stomach as you snuck passed and into the doorway.

“Ow!” You cried as you fell face first through the crack. You looked around and felt a chill run up your back, this world was worse than what Sam and Dean had said. You pulled the angel blade from your bag, stuffing it tightly in your boot before pulling the gun out. You looked around, trying to figure out which way to go before you shot around, gun pointed up as you heard something behind you.

“What are you doing here?” You raised an eyebrow as Lucifer questioned you.

“I could ask you the same thing!” You bit back, lowering your gun and pulling the blade from your boot, “you’re meant to be keeping that open!” You yell, pointing to the door.

“Yes, well, change of plans. Apparently my son is in this world and I want him back,” he said before pausing, looking you up and down before smirking, “and you’re going to help me.”

-

-

-

It was official, you hated Lucifer.

He’d managed to track down which way the Winchester’s and Angels had gone before grabbing your arm and pulling you along. Though he had forced you to take a detour in which he found some of Michael’s angels and drained them off their grace. To think Dean was worried about you coming to this world because of the creatures in it, no, know you had your own personal guard; the bloody Devil himself. The sooner you found him, the better. Not only did you want to be as far away from Lucifer as possible, you also needed to warn them that the gate would close sooner than anticipated thanks to the Devil.

-

-

-

Lucifer ended up pushing you through a door and into a dark tunnel, thankfully you’d brought your flashlight, using it to try and see where you were. Lucifer and you walked down the cave, cobwebs littering the place as you looked around.

“Keep going.” Lucifer growled like you could possibly go anywhere but forward. On the way you passed multiple beheaded vampires and reached for your regular blade, shoving the gun in your jeans.

“Scared?” Lucifer asked with a smirk. “Not even a little, come on.” You replied with an eye roll, turning the corner. You came onto a space with a few different passages, turning to look at Lucifer. As much as you hated the archangel, he was proving useful in knowing where to go.

“This way.” He said before leading you up one of the dark passages. You gripped your blade tighter, feeling uneasy as you looked around. You could definitely hear growling and from the sounds of it you were getting closer.

Lucifer reached out and grabbed your arm causing you to try and pull away, try being the key word considering his grasp was too strong to break. “Keep quiet.” He said before you ended up in another room, a hand shooting to your head. God you hated when angels did that. Opening your eyes you let out a gasp as you saw Sam laying dead on the floor. You looked to Lucifer who paid you no attention before your focus was back on Sam, who sat up and inhaled deeply.

“Hey Sammy.” You watched as Lucifer took joy in bringing Sam back, knowing he had an advantage over him. Lucifer launched into another of his annoying speeches as Sam tried to comprehend the situation as you stood in the shadows, trying to get over the fact that Sam had died, again.

“The rift. Rowena. Y/N.” You watched as Sam realised the implications of Lucifer being here and not back at the bunker.

Lucifer walked over to you, throwing an arm over your shoulder. “Relax, this one’s safe. I’ve been guarding her the whole time.” He told Sam with an innocent grin. “Rowena’s OK. I was going to kill her but instead she blasted me here but that’s okay because apparently, apparently, my son is here!”

Sam’s eyes flashed to you as Lucifer continued talking. He picked up his bag, ready to leave before Lucifer showed him the vampires he was keeping at bay. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Lucifer was going to Jack and hopefully by this point Jack would be with Dean, Cas and Gabriel. You just hoped Sam came with you, it really was the only way out of here. You watched as Lucifer went to snap his fingers, ready to let the hoard of vampires in.

“What do you want!?” Sam shouted angrily, face showing his emotions clearly. A relationship with his son, that’s what Lucifer claimed to want. Castiel had informed you all of the power this nephilim would hold and how with that power, Lucifer really was unstoppable.

“You’re going to help me. I don’t think he’ll give me a chance unless I come bearing gifts. That’s where you come in, her too but she’s not as important. Hell I could kill you now and it wouldn’t affect my plans.” He said to you, his grip on you tightening. Your eyes darted to Sam’s, betraying the panic you were feeling.

He turned his attention back to Sam, his grip on you not easing. “Apocalypse world, Michael's armies, you really think you and your family can handle that stuff alone. You need me.” Lucifer told him and as much as you hated to admit it, the more archangels you had on your side the better.

“And what if I say no?” Your whole body went cold as Sam said that. You understood him not wanting to work with Lucifer but right now there wasn’t a choice. He’d never get away from the vampires without the help of the archangel. Sam just had to play along long enough to get back to the group.

“All right, let me just make this really really easy, easy enough for even you to understand Sammy. I’m getting to Jack, one way or another. The only question is, you coming?”

-

-

-

Lucifer kept an arm on you as he pushed Sam forward, letting the group see him first before his dramatic appearance. You hadn’t known the man very long, a day at most, but you hated him. You saw the confusion on Castiel’s face, the smile that spread across Jack’s face and squeezed your eyes shut. Nothing could go right for them, could it?

Once Lucifer could see Sam held everyone’s attention, he pulled you around with him causing the general gaze to shift from Sam to you two. You could see Dean’s face clearly and regretted ever stepping through that doorway.

“Hello, son.” Lucifer smirked. You turned to glare up at Lucifer as he dragged you over to stand near Cas, Gabriel and Jack. You could see the innocent act coming out again as Jack looked at his father.

“How did you get in here?” Castiel asked, his eyes flickering to you in question. You shook your head.

“Oh, she didn’t let me go, no, no, I managed that all on my own. In fact, she came in before me.” You closed your eyes again, looking down at the floor as Lucifer spoke.

Dean stepped forward once Lucifer began to talk to Jack, not allowing the archangel anywhere near him. Lucifer began talking, something he was good at, getting into people’s minds. You could see Jack's face, angry but curious. Once Jack flashed out, Dean began to shout at Lucifer.

After Lucifer had been restrained with handcuffs, Dean’s pulled you away from him and the group.

“What the hell, Y/N!? What were you thinking? First I tell you don’t come in here and then you what? You team up with Lucifer? God, he could have killed you!” Dean shouted angrily, fingers running through short hair.

“I- I know, ok, I know he could have killed me,” your hand went up to your neck where he held you, “I know. I came in here and he was still restrained. I was here for less than two minutes when he came in! I don’t know what happened. I’m not working with Lucifer, Dean I had to, I couldn’t let you come here. If something happened, God Sam died! I saw him dead, that could have been you too! And you wouldn’t have known that I, that I,” You let out a sob as tears fell down your face, it wasn’t often you cried but after everything that had happened you couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down your face.

“Ok, Ok, c’mere,” Dean said as he pulled you in for a hug. “I’m not mad, it’s just I cannot lose you, Y/N. God, it bad enough Sam died in here, if I’d lost both of you I couldn’t, I don’t know what I’d do. I didn’t think these would be the circumstances when I confessed but the truth is,” he began, pulling away to wipe at your eyes, making sure you were looking at him before he continued, “being with you scares me. But not being with you…terrifies me.”

“I love you too. I have for so long but in our life, it’s hard to care about someone this much, yet alone love them. But I want that, with you Dean. I really do.” Your tears had started to slow as Dean wiped them before leaning in and kissing you softly. It was sweeter than what you imagined but considering the circumstances, it was exactly what you both needed. It didn’t last long, Dean pulled away and rested his head on your forehead. “I swear when we get back to our world, I’m not letting you go. I’m gonna treat you right.” He wrapped his arm around you before placing a kiss on your head.

There was still a lot to figure about, both with your relationship and the current situation. 31 hours wasn’t a lot of time but if anyone could figure out a way, it was the Winchesters.

-

-

-

You sat in the bunker, glass in hand as you took in the sight. The bunker was flooded with people from the apocalypse world, Rowena had managed to get everyone back safely, everyone but Gabriel and Lucifer. Your heart ached for Gabriel, all that time on the run, the time spent being tortured by Asmodeus, it would have been nice for him to stay, live his life instead of running. You watched with a fond smile as Sam spoke to Rowena, hopefully the youngest Winchester would let himself have a slice of happiness. Sam moved to stand by Dean and Cas talking quietly before Dean’s gaze moved to you, before he could move to you apocalypse world Bobby took a minute to toast Sam and Dean.

“Hey. There’s a diner not too far away. How’d you guys feel about burgers?” Mary asked the group, Jack, Sam, Cas, Dean and you. After everyone approved you all headed to the garage. It was a tight squeeze in the back but you and Dean rode up front, hands intertwined tightly together. Looking behind you, you saw Sam looking between you with a grin on his face. Sometimes, in moments like this, you could pretend things were normal, like you hadn’t just been in an entirely different universe. Like you were allowed to be happy. You rested your head on Dean’s shoulder and he placed a kiss upon your head before turning his attention back to the road.

Maybe you couldn’t have that white picket fence, apple pie life but looking around the Impala you realised, maybe you don’t need that to be happy and have a family. As long as you were together, you were happy even fighting side by side chopping off vampires heads and killing other worldly angels. Being with Dean, being happy with Dean, scared you. But not being with him...terrifies you.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> If you want to leave a request, I'll get to it as soon as possible!x
> 
> https://crowley-winchester-x.tumblr.com/


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